Las 7 reglas básicas para aprender a escuchar

Gran parte de los errores que cometemos en nuestra vida podrían evitarse aprendiendo a escuchar. Estamos acostumbrados a interpretar conductas en lugar de observar, escuchar y entender.

Aprender a escuchar es fundamental para mantener cualquier tipo de relación, de amistad, laboral, familiar o sentimental. No puede existir una buena comunicación si no sabemos escuchar.

Las 7 reglas básicas para desarrollar unas buenas habilidades de escucha son las siguientes

1. Prestar atención

En primer lugar debemos estar concentrados en la situación que está teniendo lugar. Para ello debemos centrar nuestra atención en el momento presente y la persona que tenemos delante.

Muchas veces tratamos de mantener conversaciones en el estado mental equivocado, ya sea muy alterado o muy cansado, con miles de distracciones en la habitación, dando vueltas a una idea en nuestra mente, etc.

Todo ello hará que sea mucho más complicado atender a lo que nos están diciendo y que entendamos el mensaje sin malinterpretar o perdernos detalles importantes.

2. No interrumpir

Interrumpir a una persona cuando está hablando es algo que resulta muy molesto. Además, es complicado alcanzar algún entendimiento cuando se está escuchando para responder y no para entender.

Para escuchar correctamente debemos esperar siempre a que la otra persona haya terminado su turno y dar nuestro punto de vista solo entonces, por varios motivos, entre ellos el hecho de que atender a todo el mensaje de la otra persona nos ayudará a entender su postura y a elaborar mejores argumentos para aportar y, por otro lado, porque conseguimos que la otra persona se sienta escuchada, evitando que adopte una postura defensiva.

3. Mirar a los ojos

Cuando una persona no te mira a los ojos el mensaje que transmite con su lenguaje corporal es de desinterés o de aburrimiento.

En ocasiones no nos damos cuenta de la importancia que tienen estos detalles, pero son imprescindibles para una adecuada comunicación. Mantener el contacto visual cuando hablamos o escuchamos transmite el mensaje de que estamos dedicando toda nuestra atención a la conversación y que estamos interesados en el tema que se está tratando.

4. Tener en cuenta otros puntos de vista

Para aprender a escuchar es fundamental saber que todo el mundo tiene un punto de vista, muchas veces distinto.

La mayoría de nosotros cree tener razón cuando mantiene una conversación o discusión. Tanto es así que ni siquiera analizamos el punto de vista del otro o nos detenemos a comprobar cuánto de razón hay en su opinión.

Por normal general, tendemos a menospreciar el argumento del otro, su particular punto de vista y podemos incluso tratar de imponer el nuestro o convencerle de que es el correcto.

5. Demostrar que estás escuchando

Utiliza expresiones como “de acuerdo, te sigo, uhumm…”, utiliza una postura abierta, reflexiona sobre lo que te están diciendo y qué emociones siente tu interlocutor.

Por ejemplo puedes añadir expresiones del tipo: “entiendo que eso te debe resultar muy molesto”, “imagino que algo así te hará sentir muy nervioso”, “creo que has debido tener una experiencia muy buena”.

6. Entender y no juzgar

No es sólo suficiente escuchar, también es necesario que la otra persona se sienta entendida, que perciba que comprendemos su punto de vista y circunstancias, y que nos ponemos en su lugar.

Y esto se consigue cuando nos interesamos por lo que nos está diciendo, cuando preguntamos por detalles o matices de lo que dice para comprenderlo mejor, cuando la otra persona percibe que tenemos interés y disposición reales de alcanzar un entendimiento.

Para ello, es importante no juzgar. Cuando escuchamos a alguien y queremos tener una buena comunicación, tenemos que aceptar su punto de vista no juzgándolo, porque si lo hacemos lejos de ayudarle a reflexionar, lo que vamos a provocar es que salga a la defensiva o que deje de estar interesado en lo que le podemos decir.

Juzgar tiene además un riesgo, y es que podemos ser terriblemente injustos. Porque a menudo nos precipitamos con nuestras conclusiones sin saber muchos detalles, sin pararnos a pensar los motivos por los que alguien ha tenido un determinado comportamiento.

7. Tener en cuenta el entorno

Hay entornos que no son muy apropiados para mantener conversaciones, si queremos que nos presten y prestar atención. Por ello, debemos eliminar las posibles fuentes de distracción, televisión, móvil, radio, interrupciones de personas ajenas a la conversación, etc.

Las distracciones rompen el “hilo” de la conversación, desconcentran y nos sacan fuera de tema en cuestión, así que tenerlas controladas va a resultar fundamental.

 

Si está interesado en conocer más sobre este tema, no dude en consultar en Psicólogos Majadahonda.

 

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